Newsletter #32

Spirituality & Aliveness

Hi there,

What does spirituality mean and why bother finding out?

At the very top of my book there’s a red flash with some yellow letters. It says “A spiritual guide for those who don’t want to be spiritually guided.” I wrote that because I was one of those people who definitely didn’t want to be spiritually guided. I wasn’t interested in anything vaguely spiritual and I certainly didn’t want to be guided by it. Fortunately, I had the gift of desperation and my alcoholism to thank for the motivation to dive in to the very heart of spirituality to find out for myself.

What I discovered, or rather experienced, was a magical transformation. And ever since I’ve been encouraging others to follow a similar path and find out (experience) for themselves.But when I’m asked ‘why bother?’ I find it genuinely hard to explain why.The best answer I’ve come up with is ‘Because it will make you feel more alive’. Because that’s the truth. It will make you feel more grateful for being here. On this earth, right here, right now. Luxuriating in the full buzz of existence.I'm not always as diligent at staying on the spiritual path as I could be. But I try hard because feeling that buzz of being alive is amazing. I’ve felt it. And it’s what I believe life is all about.

Every day, I come across people, young and old, stretched thin by the pace of modern life. I sense it most in married couples who care dearly for each other and yet feel too depleted at the end of every busy working day to express that care. It seems, as a culture, we worship at the altar of work and become people navigating a path between a desire for more money and the overwhelm that comes fulfilling that desire. We become people trying desperately to reconnect to our true selves and the loved ones around us, but do so against a backdrop of pervasive uncertainty, worry, mistrust and disconnection.These realities are zapping the joy of life right out of us. Like zombies, we walk trance-like through a 9-5 that feels very unstable right now, juggling childcare as we do so, and trying to make time for family, friends and our own sanity on the side.Many of the things that matter deeply to us fall by the wayside.Sometimes without much thought. Just habit.

Even being aware of this reality doesn't make it any less painful or easier to change. We know that a full and meaningful life means balance. It means finding safety with a secure income as well as unearthing adventure. We need excitement in both our relationships and in life in general to experience colour and zest. Life is a balancing act that can become unbearably dull and difficult if the balance tips too far to the side of security of work.

But this is how many of us live now: out of sync, out of balance, holding on.

And this is where spirituality can come in. It helps bring back that colour and zest because it helps cultivate aliveness. Especially in times defined by uncertainty, disconnection and disruption.

But interestingly, disruption needn’t be a bad thing. It can be the catalytic spark that pushes us to reimagine how we live and how we love.

No one likes disruption. But they do wake us up, don't they?

A wrong turn. A misunderstanding. A lost opportunity. A huge mistake. An illness. Disruptions can yank us out of our complacency; some instantly remind us of what and whom we stand to lose. Some make us fight for what matters. Others reveal what doesn't matter as much as we thought.

My drinking was a disruption. A rather extreme and unpleasant one. But it did the trick. It got my attention and made me evaluate and reimagine how to live and how to love. It made me explore the idea of spirituality. It led a path to me finding more aliveness.

Spiritual practice still works for me in this way. A small disruption on any given day means a daily opportunity to decide to stop sleepwalking.

Feeling alive isn't only about noticing the beauty all around us. Not just about appreciating the wonder of nature, valuing friendships, listening to great music, laughing at yourself, trying new things. Real aliveness requires tolerating ambiguity, taking risks, stretching beyond our comfort zones. Just past that edge is where comfort lives. And most importantly: aliveness isn't something we wait for. It's something we cultivate, reach for, and practice.

We practice it by leaning into everyday disruptions and asking new questions, directing our attention somewhere different, taking a detour on an unfamiliar road.

To be alive is to be in relationship with others, yes, but also with life. And most importantly with with the glorious uncertainty of life. With change, with the parts of ourselves still unfolding. If everything was certain there would be no opportunity or freedom.

Disruptions are not going anywhere. But neither is our capacity to meet them differently. And in that space, in the way we respond, repair, and reimagine, we begin to feel again.

Not the stability, security and safety of work.

But the aliveness of life.

Until next time,

Simon