Newsletter #16

Building Bridges

Hi there,

Living in the tension between old and new

In January of this year I decided to take a new direction. Instead of continuing my career as a brand and marketing consultant I took a leap of faith, launched a book and started talking about a more soulful way of being in the business world.

It’s not been the easiest of paths to follow as I feel a little bit out on a limb. A little bit caught between two worlds.

On the one hand I deeply believe that the world, especially the business world, would benefit from taking a more spiritual approach to life. There are so many profound benefits to individuals, organisations, the communities they serve and society in general.

On the other hand, it does seem that conventional business wisdom is very firmly stuck in the world of making money. The bottom line is financial. And that’s just the way it is.

I find myself shouting into the wind with little response or resonance. And that feels uncomfortable.

Despite the discomfort, there does appear to be something meaningful about being caught between worlds. Standing with one foot in the old way of doing things and the other in something entirely new. It's awkward. It’s messy. And there’s an undeniable tension that’s not at all pleasant. But it does appear that the unpleasantness is absolutely necessary to bear.

I've been feeling this tension a lot recently. And it’s left me thinking about how we navigate the space between what was and what could be. Between conventional wisdom and emerging truth. For me personally, that means walking between two specific worlds; the more soulful, mindful, interconnected world of life and the more materially-minded, secular and profit-driven world of business.

You may well have your own worlds to bridge. It’s worth considering what those worlds are and the tensions you feel.

As you consider those worlds, the most natural thing to do is pick a side. It's easier that way. We can say "this new world I see over here is the right way. That old world you’re clinging on to; that's the wrong way". Choosing the right way helps bring certainty. We’ve seen the light. The jury’s back. We’ve made up our minds. And we can sleep soundly in our certitude.

But I suspect picking sides isn’t the most productive thing to do. What if picking sides is a trap that keeps us isolated in our new world, gloriously righteous, but unable to bring people from the old world with us?

The Bridge Builder's Burden

To bring people from old worlds to new, you have to be a bridge builder. You have to connect the two worlds to allow people to cross. And that’s hard. Building bridges is thankless work. You get trampled on from both sides. The old world thinks you've betrayed everything sacred. The revolutionaries in the new world think you're not pure enough. You're too slow for the progressives, too fast for the traditionalists.

But here's what I'm beginning to understand and appreciate; bridge builders need to have their hearts and souls firmly planted in the new world they believe in, but walk in the shoes of folks in the old world.

They need to fully embrace the ethos of what is emerging but act with empathy and understanding, not judgement, of people in the old world. The old world people are are not wrong. They are not the enemy. They just don’t have the story in their minds that new world people have.

For many ‘new world activists’ this approach might be seen as copping out. It might be seen as being weak, not standing up for what you believe, bowing down to power. I don’t deny that being empathetic to the people you perceive as being wrong is tricky. It certainly creates a large amount of tension.

But I don’t see the tension as a flaw. I see it as a feature.

Why We Run From Tension

Our minds want resolution. They want the story to make sense. They want good guys and bad guys, clear answers, simple solutions.

But life isn't always that neat.

The spiritual person may want to dismiss material possessions as unnecessary distractions. The business person may want to ignore the emotional side of organisational life. The progressive may want to tear down everything that screams old world order. The traditionalist may want to preserve everything familiar.

But all of them are running away from the same thing: the discomfort of holding two truths simultaneously.

Yet that's exactly where the magic happens. In the space between certainties. In the willingness to say "both of these worlds are right because both of these worlds exist”.

Or to be more accurate “both of these worlds are right because neither of these worlds exist”.

That’s the truth. Neither of these worlds exist - not really. Neither of them fully represent the reality of the situation. They’re simply stories that we’ve chosen to believe in. Or not.

The Bigger Story

This is what changes everything: recognising that all our little stories - our ideologies, our positions, our certainties, our beliefs about new and emerging worlds and what we think about old, dying worlds - they all exist within something much, much larger.

Call it pure awareness, call it the life force of nature, call it the universe, call it the unfolding mystery of existence. Whatever name you give it, there's a story so big that it contains all our smaller stories. A narrative so vast it makes room for every perspective, every struggle, every attempt at understanding. And this big story, the biggest story of all, not only makes room for our smaller stories, and the smaller stories held by others, it makes sense of them all too.

It gives them all a role. Roles that fit together in the grander scheme of things. We may not like all the stories but we can see them for what they are.

This approach to seeing the world enables us to build a much more nuanced and deeper understanding of life. We see the unfolding mystery of life as a series of interconnected, nested stories. Stories within stories. Beliefs within beliefs. Each adding a different and richer perspective on reality.

No one story can capture the fullness of existence. But a rich tapestry of interconnected nested stories gets a bit closer.

When I remember this, when I appreciate this, my drive to proclaim the rightness of my particular small story disappears. My need to defend my position softens. My fear of being wrong transforms into curiosity about what I might learn from listening to other stories. And with this widening of perception, all forms of conflict and anxiety disappear too.

This isn't being soft. This isn’t condoning stories that are clearly harmful. This isn't pretending everything is fine when it's not. This is recognising that our desperate need to control our world, and the world of others, and our need to be right and assert our rightness over others, is a source of suffering. For ourselves and everyone we try and control.

Seeing the big picture allows us to loosen our need to control because it builds faith.

Faith as the Antidote to Suffering

Faith isn't believing in something despite evidence. Faith is letting go of the illusion that you can control everything.

It's the opposite of anxiety and suffering. Where anxiety holds tight to control, faith releases. Where anxiety demands certainty, faith accepts mystery. Where anxiety insists on managing every outcome, faith trusts the larger process of life itself.

This doesn't mean becoming passive. You still show up. You still play your part. You still work towards what matters. But you hold it all more lightly.

You build your bridge not because you're guaranteed success, and not because it assures that everyone will join you in your new world. You build your bridge because bridges need building. You build your bridge because it feels like the right thing to do.

You stand in the tension between your chosen two worlds. Not because it's comfortable, but because that's where reconciliation and healing happens. It’s where the two worlds can come together. It’s where you do the work that only your specific type of bridge building can do.

Building From Wherever You Are

You don't have to have it all figured out to start building bridges. You don't have to be perfectly balanced between old and new, spiritual and practical, idealistic and realistic.

Start from wherever you are. Honour what's true in the old while remaining open to what's uncertain and emerging in the new. Hold your positions lightly enough that you can learn. Care deeply enough to stay engaged, but not so tightly that you can't let go.

The world needs bridge builders. People willing to live in the tension. People who can hold space for complexity without demanding simple answers. People who remember that beneath all our little stories, there's a much bigger story unfolding - one that holds a role and need for us all.

The biggest story of all isn’t asking you to be right. It's asking you to play your part as you see it in this present moment. It’s asking you to be curious. To be willing to stand in the uncomfortable middle space where real transformation happens.

Bridges are necessary. And they won't build themselves. But they don't need to be perfect to be useful.

They just need someone willing to start building. Someone who can see the big story so they don’t get too hung up in rightness of their own small story.

Happy building!

Until next time,

Simon